I wrote the following words before Christmas 2013 and on May we found this beautiful Kawai from 1986. It has a familiar sound and touch because at the age of six I played my first notes with Kawai at home. The grand piano can still wait for the time when I get older, this is just perfect for now.
Just like reuniting with an old friend.
I dream of a gracefully aged grand piano in a space where you can hear your steps on the wooden floor and birds chirping outside. Space where the breeze from the open windows whirls around white, soft linen curtains and light plays and makes patterns on the ceilings.
Piano that stores and shares stories and the touch of it’s previous owners, sounds that stay lingering in the collective consciousness after they have made their way into the air as streams of melodies, playful staccatos and majestic chords.
Playing with a touch that is as light as feather, but fierce and constantly changing as currents of air, notes that pour down like raindrops falling on the surface of the water on an airy summer night, breathing life into the spaces between the notes, stillness that makes you hold your breath as the music continues to flow and carve new paths.
I have been listening to my soul in music from the time as I was already surrounded by sounds in my mother’s womb, and both playing and listening are a form of mindful meditation to me.
When I play the only option is to be present and share your feelings, otherwise you can’t touch other people because your playing becomes soulless and mechanical. Every note is equally important, how you touch the keys and are open to the feelings to flow through your fingers into the moment, infusing together your own soul and interpretation with the music.
I often think how the life would be if I would have made a conscious choice to become a professional musician, that is not however the question that needs to be asked or answered. There are many paths that need to be explored and it’s not always easy to choose, but no matter what, I always meet music in the crossroads of life changing moments, everyday life and joyful times.
Music makes my soul breathe easily, helps me when I’m lonely and fills me with healing light. When I’m able to touch others with that light I have succeeded.
In my minds eye I can already see my older self with long silvery white hair and delicate fingers that have felt the life, playing in that space which becomes the light.